Internet dating men who disappear
What work can be found here is run by the yakuza — the Japanese mafia — or employers looking for cheap, off-the-books labor. Too ashamed to tell his family, Norihiro initially kept up appearances: He’d get up early each weekday, put on his suit and tie, grab his briefcase and kiss his wife goodbye.The evaporated live in tiny, squalid hotel rooms, often without internet or private toilets. Then he’d drive to his former office building and spend the entire workday sitting in his car — not eating, not calling anyone. The fear that his true situation would be discovered was unbearable. “After 19 hours I was still waiting, because I used to go out for drinks with my bosses and colleagues.
What you may not know, however, is that there are two basic types of cheaters: people who know that they are doing something wrong and choose to do it anyway and people who don't believe they are doing anything wrong. “They all want to throw in the towel one day, to disappear and reappear somewhere nobody knows them. You know, a disappearance is something you can never shake.“The Vanished: The Evaporated People of Japan in Stories and Photographs” (Skyhorse) is the first known, in-depth reportage of this phenomenon. But people can disappear because there’s another society underneath Japan’s society.Avoidance is the main coping strategy for the discomfort associated with anxiety, and what is more anxiety-inducing than rejecting someone? "Looking back, I really loved this girl and things were perfect, but I honestly was not in a place where I could let myself fall into another relationship."For other men—and let's be honest, plenty of women—the disappearing act is a regular habit."I decided to go right to the source and ask guys who have gone MIA what the heck happened. "There have been many instances in which I've met someone—almost always via online dating—and had two, three, or more dates, all fine and fun, and then I just dropped off the map," says Louis, 34.